i found a good analogy of it.

its like cancer.
the first time you knew it, you sob hard and grieve
then, the doctor tells you not all hope is lost.
then you start to recover, but in just a wink
you relaspe, yet, effects starts to ebb away again and you recover.
the vicious cycle continues to the point where you have no idea whether to have hope or not.
whether one day, it will end up taking your life.

quite good huh? hahahaha